Tuesday, August 25, 2015

AGOSTO!

Bakit nga ba? Dahil ang Agosto ang pinaka peak ng summer vacation at hindi ko na enjoy dahil-

1. Wala na akong bakasyon. Naubos na lahat nung nagbakasyon ako noon Enero hanggang Pebrero sa Pilipinas. Oo, nakabaskyon nga ako pero bad trip pala yung trabaho ka ng trabaho habang ang nakikita mo sa Facebook ay mga larawan nila na nagtatampisaw sa dagat, naglalakad sa tahimik na gubat, at kung saan-saan pa sila gumagala. Habang ako, ayon nga-nga sa trabaho.

2. Wala na akong budget. Hindi ko rin lubos maunawaan sa paanong paraan ako laging short sa budget. Sa totoo lang kasi ay may pinaglalaanan akong ibang bagay- tulad ng pambili ng palasyo o villa dito sa Italya, pambili ng isla sa Palawan, pambili ng isang coin-operated na lalaki, at mga insurance at investments, kung anu-ano pa. Oo isa akong materialistic na tao. Kagalakan ko ang magtampisaw sa pera at maparaos ng limang bayarang lalaki gabi-gabi. Weh! Wish ko lang! Pero sana makaluwag naman ako at magkaroon ng budget para sa mas enjoying at relaxing na bakasyon.

3. Walang matinong destination. Actually napapunta ako sa city ng Perugia na kung saan nandun yung isang famous chocolate factory na Perugina (under ng Nestlé). Pero side trip lang yun dahil may pinuntahan akong isang convention ng church naming. Napilitan na ako pumunta dun dahil nandun din ang mga bestfriends ko at may isang church ministry akong hinahawakan. Unfortunately, hindi pa naipamamalita sa mga anak ng Diyos na ang isa niyang manggagawa ay isang abominasyon. Kaya ayun, napapapunta na naman ako sa mga iba't-ibang destination. I am a man on a mission (who likes to be in a missionary position, if you know what I mean).

4. Walang beach body. Nakakatakot pumunta sa dagat. Baka mapagkamalan akong balyenang inanod. Baka buhatin ako bigla, dalhin ako sa isang barko at itapon sa karagatan. Dios mio que horror! Tapos makikita ko sa pictures hitsura ko. Eeeewww! Hahaha!

Pero at least naman, etong August….

1.Nakapag reconcile. May mga taong nanghudas na ngayon ay nakipag reconcile na. No, let me correctthat, ako ang pilit na nakipag reconcile at pinatawad ko na sila kahit hindi sila nag sorry. Ok lang. Tapos na ako don. Di na ako bitter. Isa na lang talaga ang naka pending ang issue sa akin. May araw ka din!

2. Nakapag reunion. Kumpleto na ulit kaming tatlo ng bestfriends ko- The Blogger (me), the Lover (bestfriend 1), and the Traveller (bestfriend 2). Also known as The Baklita, the Beloved ni Baklita na Boyfriend naman ng Iba, and the Bad Romance Lagi. Malalakas ang trip namin eh. Kala lagi ng iba boy band kami. Hindi ah! May muse kaya! Hahaha! But really, I am happiest when I am with them. Tanggap ako ng isa, tolerated naman ng isa, but still, alam kong mahal nila ako bilang kaibigan at kapatid. Bromance, well, 2/3 bromance.

3. Naka tipid. Inisip ko na rin na okay na rin ito, at least wala ako masyadong gastos. May kasalan pa ako ulit na pupuntahan sa September (need to buy a new suit and a new pair of shoes), at may winter getaway ako sa Naples at Milan. Kaya ok na rin!

This will be my last entry for this month. Di ko na sasabihin na wake me up when September ends. Gasgas na ang linya na yun. Leche! Kayod na lang ulit sa September.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

What Do Pabebe Girls, Over Zealous Jesus Freaks, Stoned Assholes, and Noynoy Have in Common?

An empty skull.

The black propagandas of Christians are at it again. Ever since the US Supreme Court ruled in favour of the fabulous gay people, the Jesus-freaks have increased the pace of Hating-Fags-is-Not-A-Sin-Because-God-Is-Love Machinery fabricating falsehoods more than ever, circulating them around the world through internet; preaching their ultimate gospel- the world has become hopeless because of gay marriage.

I’ll get back on that issue later on. Let me take this issue at hand. It’s about Zondervan, publisher of the NIV Bible and the allegedly evil company owned by Harper Collins, publisher of “The Joy of Gay Sex” and the Satanic Bible.



They want to ban the use of NIV Bibles because it was published by a sinful company.

What’s wrong with their claim?

  1. They are plain stupid

The people behind this article are raising again the age-old debate among Protestant Christians- Which Bible should Christians read, the New International Version or the King James Version?

They claim that NIV is not reliable while KJV is authoritative and reliable.

An eminent Filipino bishop here in Italy, widely respected all over Europe, once said that NIV and KJV versions are okay. He didn’t make such a fuss over which is divinely sanctioned because HE DOESN’T FUCKING CARE BECAUSE IT SHOULDN’T BE SUCH A BIG DEAL.

Those who are usually very legalistic about KJV’s reliability are usually those assholes who claim to have spoken with Jesus and then cause the church’s schism and then doggy-style fuck all the ladies in the holy house, saying that it was his divine mandate.

The worst thing about this is that they really have no idea or even have the right understanding and training to interpret Scriptures correctly. How can they say that the NIV translation is corrupted or erroneous when they don’t even know Hebrew, Ancient Greek, or Aramaic? They have no knowledge of the Talmud. They have no idea of the basic principles of hermeneutics. And they have no brains at all!

  1. They are plain ignorant.

They know nothing of history. The history they know is from the beginning of the earth, up to the final words of John in Patmos, and up to what shit they did yesterday.

Between John in Patmos and yesterday is a black void in their memory. This is the result of being homeschooled by unqualified Jesus-freaks Christians. So far this is the best product of Christian home-schooling.



Yes, the gift of God to gaykind! Hallelujah!

My point is this- their advocacy is to stop Christians from using NIV Bibles because the publisher is somehow linked to the production of gay sex materials and Satanism, and yet, they fail to realize or remember or know that the KJV Bible is the fruit of the wisdom and intelligence of perhaps the most fabulous king of the United Kingdom, King James I &VI, the divine king who had his bedchamber connected, through a secret passage, to the bedchamber of his favourite male courtier, so they can have intense and sweaty nocturnal, erm, conversations on how to run the kingdom?




Now how’s that for an evil fruit of the devil?

3.      They are plain ignorant and stupid who are able to rally behind them the ignorant and stupid.

Whether it is an NIV or KJV, it is written nowhere in the Holy Scriptures that it is against the will of God for a man to use his common sense.

I have a feeling that these people do not actually read the Bible but only the commentaries of a bunch of greedy assholic televangelists.

Sometimes I wonder if redemption also requires stupidity other than Christ’s sacrifice.

  

Monday, August 03, 2015

China, From Where I Stand

I said it before, and I’ll say it again. China is the future. And if we do not get along well with this upcoming super-power, we won’t be part of that future at all. I have no statistics or any political study to prove my theory. Just look at their major cities and how they are performing, and you will understand the possibility of the return of the dragon empire. Just look at every labels of any object around you and you will understand how it difficult it would be to live in a made-in-China-less world.



I have always been mesmerized by the beauty and history of China and its people (particularly, I have an intense interest in the Chinese male landscape, but that’s another story), its food, and the contemporary scenes of Chinese metropolitan life. I have always keen interest in their empire building, then and now. Empire building is something I would certainly enjoy doing in the near future.


Having said this, I still do not understand why sovereign people of the Philippines are always hostile towards the advances of China but are very servile when approached by the white peoples of the West?

China, in the recent past, offered to invest on massive projects in our country, but were all fucked up in the end by their Filipino counterparts. The situation was even more aggravated by the stubborn Aquino II administration, by cancelling all those projects (they said all those investments were ill-conceived since they were all done under the Arroyo administration). Obviously, the Chinese government was really pissed off because they lost a lot of money. So now they are back with much vigour and aggression, to the surprise of the pinoys, a people who is all talk but no game at all.



I think if we set the table for negotiations and business dealings which would benefit both countries, we will get along well. And we could be part of that glorious and prosperous future which the Chinese aim to achieve.

Instead, we choose to dim our reasoning with hate and stupid urban beliefs, and claim that the Chinese eat foetuses for breakfast and have dogs and cats as their main dish for their festivals. At least that’s how the dog-eaters and balut-mongers of the archipelago view them.

We choose to stand by the side of the Americans who promised us prosperity since…. since the word ‘never’ came into being. How many years have we traded with the Americans and listened to their promises, believing them to be our white brother, and we’re still swimming in the same pool of shit? Of course, there’s the corruption blah blah blah, but unfortunately we inherited that from our beloved US. Have we really benefited from Philippine-American trade relations? How many times has the US acted and meddled in our history and politics just to protect their interests or pursue causes that would benefit American interests, while we suffer and die?

Ok, let’s say we’ve driven out the Chinese. And the disputed seas and islands, what are we going to do with that? We will open our doors to let US, Australia, or Japan or somebody else to exploit them. How many times have we done something like this? And we would usually argue that we are opening up to investors that would generate jobs. Yeah right.

I am not a Communist, but I think it’s quite obvious that it is high time to look for a new partner. I used to say it’s time to be with China.

But things have changed for me since my visit in the Philippines earlier this year. I now have a very particular interest in the province of Palawan that I am compelled to speak out and offer any support to suppress Chinese invasion.

It’s really funny how one’s fiery passion for an idea is easily smothered when personal interests are threatened. And this had me thinking, the simple fishermen would definitely want China out of those territories because their livelihood is threatened. I want China out because they are establishing their presence near Palawan, and my interest is threatened.

How about the Philippine government? What prompted our government to act right now but not way before when China has settled elements of its presence earlier? Why now and not before? China didn’t act quickly. Their presence was already there way long before.

I am no traitor. I love the Philippines. But I do not intend to wage war against another foreign power just to be betrayed by my own brothers.

I am no traitor if I say that I will do business with the Chinese, if ever the time comes that they will invade our country. Traitors are those patrician families who have compromised our liberties and our history with foreign rulers in the past while they are exalted by our own kind in the hallow chambers of law and power. In the future you will see me with the Chinese, together with those men and women who bear the ancient names of landlords and tycoons; people decorated with words such as patriots, nationalists, and heroes. They will be seated with me as we buy and sell lands and titles of our future imperialist masters.



History will denounce me for my treason while it will honour those Filipino patricians and mestizos, even if they gave away the archipelago on a wholesale price.


Yes, it is a product of my imagination; it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen in the past.




Monday, July 27, 2015

The Bedchambers of Power

In my ascent to the ladder of power, I have learned its sexual nature and its ability to lure men and women towards your sphere of influence. Power is a very useful tool, but very fragile too. And when it is abused, it becomes a time-bomb that could destroy everything around you.

There’s a special union between power and sex (lots of illicit sex). The higher one goes, the more intense the craving for sex gets. I think power begets illicit sex and vice versa. And it gives the shallow promise of immunity, henceforth corruption. And there you have it, the ultimate unholy trinity of human nature.



The forbidden liaisons and corruption of those who are on top will never pass unobserved by the lowly servants of a big company, especially when there are gossiping pinoys around and burdened employees.

There’s nothing more exquisite for destitute drones than finding solace in the sweet exchanges of devilish gossips with their fellow bondservants, about what’s happening in their masters’ bedchambers.

You really can’t blame the drones or keep them from talking about the secret liaisons of their masters. It’s the ultimate revenge of subordinates against their slave-drivers and opportunist masters. Others may be bitter and intend to destroy their masters’ reputation. And some are curious or are simply born as certified busy-bodies.

In our workplace, I have gathered enough stories and facts about almost everybody in the company’s ruling class.

Let’s start from the very top of the ladder- He Who is Proclaimed King of Fast-Food of Florence, a subtle philanderer. He WAS a true Italian male beauty- tall, blond, charming smile, cool voice, and a sharp mind that was forged in the most prestigious business school of the country. It was said that he got his wealth by marrying a Belgian beauty. Their marriage was the fruit of love; and just like any other fruit, it started to rot.




We presumed that the owner of the company would be quite busy running his business and saving his empire from economic downfall. But one night, he was spotted by an employee in a club where the young and reckless dwell in the night. He was there on the dance floor, a reckless rich guy, with one of his female general managers, a young whore in heat. Will the Belgian beauty know about this affair?

Then there’s the Brazilian business consultant, also known as The Sperminator. A father of two, and husband to exotic glamazon from Brazil. He’s no hunk. A bit flabby and has the nasal voice of a frog. Perhaps it’s his Latino machismo and his legendary super-endowed phallus that makes many women hover around his groin. Even the wisest and most powerful dragon-lady of the company (simply the CEO) was disarmed by his advances. Their affair was one the reasons that led her to fall from grace.



Indulging the needs of the Sperminator can definitely bring you success. A young Filipina, ALLEGEDLY, got her promotion by her outstanding performance, in the restaurant and in bed. Every night her roommates would hear the squeaking of a bed, screams and moans of two people banging like there’s no tomorrow. So you see, a good service brings success.

As for my superior, I always bring up stories of her unfaithfulness to the most desired bachelor of the company. When Mr. Bachelor was gone, she was whore-fucking his friend, one of the company’s directors who dated tall blond models. This director was cute but skinny. I wondered why was she attracted to this guy when Mr. Bachelor had better looks, more successful, and rich. I found out that skinny director was skinny in everything but his reproductive tool. His member is not just big. It’s mouth-wateringly the biggest and healthiest, and the premium example of an Italian stallion-like member in the realm.

So behind the angelic charm and soft voice, my boss is actually a raging, insatiable bitch of all time.

At the time, their story was sensational. You can actually hear employees maliciously sneer behind my superior whenever she’s around. Everybody was sympathetic to poor Mr. Bachelor. Now, he has found happiness in the arms of an Indian girl, and my boss found happiness grabbing Mr. Stallion’s happiness-tool.

One time I was sent to another branch of our chain of restaurants to help manage it and solve problems regarding its operations.

And there I met Mr. Beefcake, an employee in his forties, married, broad-shouldered, beefy arms, not good-looking but deliciously meaty and virile.



I always made sure that his shifts would coincide with my shifts (early signs of my own corruption). So even though work went smoothly, I always had a “hard” time. It was always a delightful experience having an eye-candy by my side. But it was just all looking but no touching.

During those months I found out that some of the problems and the difficulty of rallying the whole work force as a team were rooted to this- the secret affair of Mr. Beefcake and their Russian store manager who probably showered him with favours. Obviously, I found out about the affair.



Mr. Beefcake’s wife found out (God knows how) and she came to the restaurant making a scene, demanding that the Russian bitch be fired.

It was really a sad sight- the Russian store manager still keeping her job but still unhappy with her Italian fiancé, Beefcake lost his job while his family was falling apart, and me, still pleasuring myself, on my own. But after all this madness, I think I’m better off like this.


I hope not to fall from grace or commit any of my superiors’ sins. If I really have to rub off an itch, may the Heavens be merciful to steer me away from any chance of becoming the next Clinton-Lewinsky phenomenon.


Sunday, July 19, 2015